Lima Beans...

The other day I was explaining to a patient how important it is that she remain in the here and now moment as best she can. She has trouble staying in the present moment and likes to mostly live in the future as she anticiaptes nearly every aspect of her life in a literal frenzy of anxiety. It's difficult even in the best of times and for virtually every human being to stay in the present moment...the immediacy of what surrounds us at any given time can sometimes be forgotten as we strive to prepare for the future or relive the past. Moreover, for chemically dependent people such a struggle can be deadly: There is a great deal about the past we usually regret and the pain of having that foremost in our brain can lead to shame and guilt, and dwelling on the future can have a negative efffect on our confidence to master the unknown.

All of which brings me to lima beans. I relate the practice of eating lima beans to many patients who struggle with living in the present moment. You see...I hate lima beans, can't stand them, and sometimes just thinking about them makes my stomach queasy. But, ordinarily, this dislike for lima beans is in the abstract - like it is now in writing you this - because they are not in front of me and I only have the memory of what they taste like or the dread of when I might next have to eat them. In other words, when it comes to lima beans I am most often either living in the past or the future...not the present moment.

So, to remedy this abstraction, once a year or so I eat some lima beans. I usually by one of those small cans, plop them into a sauce pan, add lots of butter and salt and pepper and nearly cook them to death. Then I sit down alone at a kitchen table and eat those lima beans. Suddenly, the idea of disliking lima beans is no longer an abstraction of the past or the future. Rather, my dislike for these beans is a real experience in the here and now of the moment of eating them. I savor how much I dislike them, feel in the pit of my stomach how bad I feel, and know exactly why I do not usually eat them.

Now...this culinary masochism may sound strange to the average reader. But, it is vital for me to stay in the here and now of experience, and I can think of no better way of remaining grounded in the present moment than an exercise like that with the lima beans to stay that way. The experience serves as a reminder that I must also ground myself in other ways daily by thinking of exactly where I am and where I am supposed to be at the moment. It is also a way to stay focused on tasks in front of me.

I wouldn't recommend the kind of limit bean torture to everyone...it's my little quirk. But, I would recommend everyone having some device that grounds them in the here and now. After all, there's nothing to fear about the present moment if it is well lived according to one's principles...and, who knows, I might get to like lima beans eventually.

All the best, Roger W.

National Recovery Month...

National Recovery Month is a national observance that educates Americans on the fact that addiction treatment and mental health services can enable those with a substance use or mental disorder to live a healthy and rewarding life. The observance’s main focus is to laud the gains made by those in recovery from these conditions, just as we would those who are managing other health conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, asthma and heart disease.  Recovery Month spreads the positive message that behavioral health is essential to overall health, that prevention works, treatment is effective and people can and do recover.

Recovery Month, now in its 22nd year, highlights individuals who have reclaimed their lives and are living happy and healthy lives in long-term recovery and also honors the treatment and recovery service providers who make recovery possible. Recovery Month promotes the message that recovery in all its forms is possible and also encourages citizens to take action to help expand and improve the availability of effective recovery services for those in need.

Celebrated during the month of September, Recovery Month began in 1989 as TreatmentWorks! Month, which honored the work of the treatment and recovery professionals in the field. The observance evolved to National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month in 1998, when the observance expanded to include celebrating the accomplishment of individuals in recovery from substance use disorders.  The observance is evolving once again in 2011, to include all aspects of behavioral health and will now be known as National Recovery Month.

Each September, thousands of treatment and recovery programs and services around the country celebrate their successes and share them with their neighbors, friends, and colleagues in an effort to educate the public about recovery, how it works, for whom, and why. There are millions of Americans whose lives have been transformed through recovery. These successes often go unnoticed by the broader population; therefore, Recovery Month provides a vehicle to celebrate these accomplishments.

The 2011 Recovery Month observance aims to educate the public on the positive changes that national health care reform will have on access to needed recovery services for substance use and mental disorders.  Recovery Month, officially celebrated each September, has become a year-round initiative that supports educational outreach and celebratory events throughout the year.

Currently 140 Federal, State and local government entities, as well as non-profit organizations and associations affiliated with prevention, substance use and mental disorders, comprise the Recovery Month Planning Partners’ group. The Planning Partners assist in the development, dissemination and collaboration of materials, promotion and event sponsorship for the Recovery Month initiative.

Materials produced for the Recovery Month observance include print, web, television, radio and social media tools. These resources help local communities reach out and encourage individuals in need of services, and their friends and families, to seek treatment and recovery services and information. Materials provide multiple resources including SAMHSA’s National Helpline - 1-800-662 HELP (4357) for information and treatment referral and SAMHSA's Treatment information at http://www.samhsa.gov/

So, even though the month celebration is winding down, I urge everyone to plug into the SAMHSA website and download some materials...who knows, the materials may come in handy for any intervention work you may do with family or friends who may need recovery services during the coming year.

All the best, Roger

Truth...

Deliver me...

from the cowardice of avoiding new truths,

from the laziness of accepting half truths,

from the arrogance of believing I have all truth.

I've searched high and low and cannot find the source for this prayer/aphorism. I'd like to think that it belongs to someone like a great philosopher (Lao Tzu), politician (Gandhi), poet (Eliot) or religious man (St. Francis). But, I haven't got a clue. Regardless, this has been posted in front of my work space at my home and office for many years. It is something I look at continuously and try to practice in my life.

If I dissect this prayer I learn how I might best function in the world. First, I see that I must have the courage to face new truths that arise in my life. One of these in my life right now is the truth that not everyone will see the value of my dissertation research study and clamor aboard as a participant. Not even all the sources for participants I have will see the value in it and help me obtain participants. It is a truth I must not avoid that most people are indifferent to research projects like mine. Second, I see that I must not be lazy when it comes to the truth and accept just anything that someone tells me as being authentic, genuine and real. I've been burned far too many times by false promises in the workplace and even in some personal relationships. I must be vigilant to see falsehood for what it really is. And, third, I see that I must not assume I have all the answers. This is particularly difficult for me right now as I feel I have been arrogant about certain things - my profession, my knowledge base about psychological information, and my knowing what the right thing to do is.

This is all especially true today after learning that a 21 year old former patient of mine died of alcohol poisoning last week. He was a big, brawny and loud young man. He came to my treatment center because of an intervention by his family and stayed for four months of treatment despite threatening to leave every day. He was hurting badly, and in a few private moments when he broke down and cried he would talk about being lonely and sad and feeling lost. But, he hung on to the idea that alcohol was his friend and that when he turned 21 (which he would a few days after his discharge) he was going to get good and drunk and celebrate his emancipation. He did. But, it wasn't but a few months later that his friend, alcohol, bit him in the ass and killed him. As obnoxious as he could be some days, this young man did not deserve to die so early, and many of us will miss him.

The new truth that I seem to learn every day is that I - and every other counselor treating alcohol and drug addiction - is totally powerless over the disease that afflicts the people we treat. There is nothing, absolutely nothing I can do to prevent the inevitable and, the ugly truth is, I often know what that inevitable outcome will be like for many of the patients I have. Sure, there are seemingly hopeless cases who recover, but that is looking more and more like a half truth to me. Many do recover but it is only when they come to grips with some spiritual need within them that they do decide to stop using drugs and get well. Sadly, the truth is that we sometimes know deeply within that some people are not finished with their drinking and drugging careers and they will soon die.

The arrogance I have to fight against is this seeming certainty that I know who will and who will not recover. It's a character defect of mine, but I am not alone. It is a constant battle for the alcohol and drug counselor to remain open to the possibility of change and that some people who look hopeless now might actually be able to overcome relapse pressures and survive the disease. I ask to be delivered from that arrogance every day.

All the best, Roger W.

Transformation...

I saw this painting on a website recently and it immediately made me think of the spiritual nature of recovery from addiction.

Painted by Victor Bregeda in 2004, Transformation is a painting that looks at first glance to be just a decorative piece of artwork. There are very bright blossoms in the branches of a tree in the center that seems to be springing from the pages of a book. It's colors are pleasant, soothing and inviting.

But, soon, an intense look at the painting reveals much more than decorative art. After a while, one sees that the blossoms are really butterflies. And, there is a man, standing on a great hand that is fluttering the pages of the book, who seems to be poking at the butterfly/blossoms. The man appears to have gotten to the top by climbing a ladder. The fluttering pages suggest change and, when one sees a caterpillar crawling in the background, one is reminded how butterflies come to be.

The profound, secret meaning of the painting is then revealed...the metamorphosis from the slow-going caterpillar to the beautiful winged butterfly symbolizes the immortality and transformation of man's soul on the way to God. And, God, whose hand flips through the pages of life to reveal the caterpillars and butterflies, allows man to stand high after climbing up the ladder of life. It's as if there is some divine dialogue going on here between man and God. Here, revealing life's true meaning through flipping the pages of life before him, God is turning over the pages of His scared words. He is revealing the secrets of the universe through the symbols of a delicate, but hearty butterfly, that is being probed by the small figure of man who is trying to figure out how the butterfly became transformed from the caterpillar.

We are seekers of truth and we strive to understand the world that God has revealed to us through our ordinary experience of life. Some of us are cynical and refuse to accept that mankind has spiritually evolved from an Earth-based nature (the caterpillar) to the Heavenly-based potential (the butterfly) in every person's life.  Some do not see the beauty inherent in this transformation of the spirit. Some refuse to accept that the point upon which they stand (the hand of God itself) is a vantage point that will allow them to see the entire universe unfold before them in beauty and grandeur.

At this stage of my life and recovery it is important to me to acknowledge and validate the wonderful feeling of connectedness to this butterfly universe that courses through my mind and body. In many respects, I feel a profound sense of sadness and loss for those who have not found this in their own lives. But, I urge anyone seeking a better life to continue to strive, like the caterpillar, and look forward to the transformation.

All the best, Roger W.