PS on gratitude...

Well...strange things can sometimes happen.

I found out that my PSA level (that measures if I have any recurrence of cancer) has gone down since my last test three months ago. It went from 0.25 in March, to 0.24 today...not a lot of movement, but enough for the doctor to give me a big thumbs up and tell me not to worry any more about what is going on.

It's great news! With all that we have been going through since February, it is astounding news that the level are receding. The doctor attributes this to the fact I may just be a man who has a rise in PSA level for some, unknown reason, not necessarily because it is cancer. So, I'm out of the weeds it seems. We'll test it every three months just to check.

Now, my gratitude has increased even more. A cancer scare is never a good thing, but, in my case, I think it accomplished a couple of things. Foremost is that it tested my faith. Those who know me understand I am not a flamboyantly religious person, but I have developed a level of faith in the great forces of our universe that there is a guiding set of principles which - if you are in harmony with them - will guide me in the right direction. In this case, the direction was to maintain confidence that this scare was only that...a scare. To accept it as it was unfolding was difficult at times, but I did accept what was happening as it presented itself, without having a prolonged bout of sadness, regret, or anger. I was told by everyone that, if I kept the faith, all would turn out OK. And it did. Also, this episode bonded me closer to people. I felt a deep connection to my family, Twyla, George, Mary Kay, Marilyn, and Michael - my main support system. They never let me languish in self pity or dwell on the negative aspects of this problem. In fact, Twyla even said that if we concentrate real hard on positive things about this that we can drive the PSA level down...and it did! Amazing.

But, perhaps one of the most important things to come out of this is gratitude. To see the people at Mayo, with an array of devastating illnesses, walk through the experience of treatment with dignity and often good humor, was very important for me to do. It gave me perspective on my own life. It made my life more valuable to me.  It chopped hard at my self-centeredness and made me grateful.

They say in Narcotics Anonymous that, "A grateful addict will never use." I am that grateful addict who has a host of friends, overall good health, a good job, great family, and a bright future. Now, what more could a guy ask for?...except perhaps to catch that hulking 20+ pound large mouth bass on fly line!

All the best, Roger W.