Buddhism...

I accomplished another of my first-of-the-year goals today: I went to my first Buddhism temple ceremony this morning.

For many years, after discovering Buddhism as a tender undergraduate at Stonehill, I have dabbled with the idea of "becoming a Buddhist". Now, I was never certain what that meant, but it sounded very avant garde and hip at the time, so I read a few books on it and even tried meditating a few times. But, for the most part, I drifted away from that just as I had drifted away from much of my spirituality over the years. For years I've just been a Buddhist wannabe.

But a week ago, that all changed. I had set about making a list of goals for myself for the new year and found that I needed to have a spiritual goal. So I thought long and hard - you might even say I meditated on it! - and decided that now was the time in my life when I should truly explore Buddhism or forever leave it behind. As the first step, I enrolled in Clouds in Water Zen Center in downtown Saint Paul and made a commitment to myself I would go to this week's ceremony.

The first thing they teach you at the center is how to sit for meditation and I went through a 30 minute instruction with several other people (mostly students from a local seminary who were just "checking Buddhism out"). Last year I went to a three-day seminar on Mindfulness Meditation, so I was well-prepared for the process of meditating. After the instruction, we all joined the congregation of about 50-60 people assembled in a beautifully peaceful large room that used to be a storage room in an old warehouse. White walls supported by gigantic wooden beams, all painted white, enclosed a soft space where pillows where set about and people were either kneeling or sitting on them. I cannot sit on the floor well so I grabbed a small support pillow and joined a number of others sitting in chairs.

Two women priests were sitting at the front, quietly waiting for people to settle, and signaled a third to ring a Tibetan Bell, that, when struck with a wooden hammer sent out the most clear and soothing sound that lingered in my mind long after the vibrations stopped.

There we sat, for 30 minutes, in meditative silence. Now, I realize the formal meditation like this is not for everyone, but certainly everyone does meditate. All meditation is living in the present moment of your experience. When a sound intrudes, you acknowledge that sound to yourself and turn your inner attention to your breathing - in/out, in/out, in/out. When a thought intrudes your moment, you acknowledge that thought as something happening in the very moment of your experience, and then turn your thoughts back to your breathing - in/out, in/out, in/out. And when your muscles get sore, you get an itch, you ass falls asleep, your head nods, or whatever else occurs while meditating, you acknowledge this and set it aside by concentrating on the breathing - in/out, in/out, in/out.

All of us sat in silent meditation until that beautiful bell sounded again that signaled we are to come into the full expression of our moment by acknowledging our surroundings and relating to one another again.

One of the priests then spoke on a topic. Today it was about "Engaged Buddhism", which is a current within the flowing river of Buddhism that advocates active engagement with the outside world of politics, social issues, relationships and, in other words, how a person can "carry the message" of Buddhism to the community at large. It's controversial because many believe Buddhist practice is for the solitary pursuit of serenity, peace, and living in the moment of one's own existence. But, clearly, with so many spiritual issues embedded in political debate these days, Buddhism has much to say and a lot to offer the world outside the temple.

When the talk was over, there was a ceremony that was strangely similar to the Catholic faith I was raised in. There was praying and chanting, and the priests seemed to offer incense, a candle, and some (I guess it was) wine to the statute of a  Buddha in the center of the altar. This was very simple and direct and without any pomp to it all all...I saw it as just a quiet way of offering some symbol of gratitude to a spiritual leader.

Well, if you've read this far, you might be either bored with the details of a religious ceremony or intrigued (as I was) with the power that was in that room for two hours. Clearly there was something happening that was bigger than the sum of it's parts, and the power that the silence created, and the calm words of wisdom the priest delivered that were coupled with a simple offering, gave me a sense of peace and consolation I have not had in many years.

I will return to Clouds in Water again. It fuels my spirit. I think it will make me a better person to be a part of this community. And, maybe I have something to offer as well. It's all part of the recovering journey where I have now stepped onto a higher road that will lead me to peace of mind.

All the best, Roger