Happiness...

Even with an income of $100 million a year, it is doubtful Tiger Woods is happy. And, he seems to know it. Long before he made headlines with his scandal, Tiger's demeanor and look were of a man who was having little fun or happiness in life. His life is contrasted with the man I know who takes care of kids in a drug treatment center on the overnight shift, whose smile, ease of manner and firm handshake signal true happiness with what he does and who he is.

Happiness is a focus on the journey in life, not the destination. It is a concentration on having a mission, a purpose and valuing that. It is being loved, and knowing it. One can be isolated and physically hurting and, yet, still be happy. I think of the hermit like Thomas Merton who was ecstatically happy in his solitude even though in pain toward the end of life. And, I think of those I know who are mentally hurting but, nonetheless, maintain an ease and pleasantness about them. I think of a man with schizophrenia in Boston who hands out flowers daily at a train station with a smile and exuberance few can match.

The most salient characteristic of this kind of person seems to be their total immersion in the flow of life around them. They lose track of time. They seal out distractions. The are usually prodigeous achievers whether it be producing formulas about physics (Steven Hawking) or baking cookies (my friend Mary Kay). These are people who are difficult to interupt in their flow, but even turn cheerful when this is done, seeing the new person in their life's moment as just another benefit of doing what they do.

Recovery can produce such happiness. Once mired in the throes of addiction where the using itself eventually produced no happiness and only misery, many addicts find relief from this dreariness through abstinence and recovery. At first, there is the pain of having stopped the insanity of addictive behavior, and, when this stops, it can produce a form of happiness the 12 Step programs call the "pink cloud" stage. Everything seems possible in the brightness of the pasture once you emerge from the darkness of the woods. And, after a while, the true forms of happiness begin to show up in a delight with the process of recovery on a daily basis. Many people take pleasure in the rituals of recovery - readings, prayer, meditation, meetings - and, still others find joy in taking stock every day of where they are and what they stand for. Still more look forward to the benefits of sobriety along the way that are wirtten about in the AA Big Book on pages 83-84 in a paragraph called "The Promises". Whatever the process, people in recovery generally revel in the joy of living clean and serene, in the present moment, one day at a time.

So, I welcome Tiger and all the others who may be searching for true happiness to invest themselves in a program of recovery from their problems or addictions. I only ask that they remain open-minded, honest and willing and, armed with these attributes, they are sure to find happiness in life's journey.

All the best, Roger W.