Fellowship...

One of the comforting things about being involved with a 12 Step program is the fellowship it affords with other recovering people. Fellowship is not a common word in today's lexicon. We are often too busy with commitments to afford the time to sit and enjoy others, and the ever-present cell phone sometimes has a mind of its own that draws us away from relationships. If you are like me, then you occasionally seek out chances to be with others to renew the bond.

That's what fellowship in Narcotics and Alcoholics Anonymous programs do: They provide the recovering person with a time and place to enjoy maximum contact with other people who have experience, strength, and hope to share about recovery. Addiction is a disease of many things, but primarily it is a disease of isolation. Whether we used in public or private, we sooner or later came to realize that we were alone in our addictive behavior, hiding it from everyone we could who was healthy in our lives, and avoiding prolonged contact with those we did use with. When we were trying to get the drugs, we were obsessed with finding them and using them so there was little time or need to get to know people around us for who they really were. When we were using drugs, we held ourselves away from people because we certainly didn't want to share and needed to protect our supply. And, when we were coming down in withdrawal we avoided people so they would not see our pain. NA and AA know these things and that is why they ask we share recovery in fellowship with other people.

Certainly, fellowship comes in many forms, but the most recent examples for me are impressive markers for how far I have come in moving away from being isolated. There are the meetings I attend where I join with others in the rituals of our recovery, reading passages from our literature and listening to speakers or sharing our story. There are the times when I speak on the phone about NA business or just to hear a friend in recovery talk about their pain or joy. But, the most recent situations that have impressed me with the opportunity for fellowship come from working with fellow addicts on projects related to the Hospitals and Institutions subcommittee we work on for NA. H&I is a group of people who carry the message of recovery to people who cannot make it to a regular NA meeting such as those in detoxes, jails, or hospitals. There is a remarkable bonding that occurs among a group of people who are devoting time and energy to helping others and the H&I work we do gives each of us a chance to benefit from that bonding.

Truly, the organizers of the 12 Step programs were geniuses. We know that. But, we often don't think about the fact that one of the things that most clearly shows that genius is in the simple phrase, "We can't keep what we are not willing to give away." This sounds paradoxical to many outside the program, but it means that a recovering person cannot hold onto recovery without giving away their message of recovery to people who are suffering in the throes of addiction. An H&I panel discussion in a facility is not the only way to do that. The opportunity for fellowship with other recovering people at meetings, coffee hours afterwards, dances, trips, conventions and simple one-on-one talks also spreads that message.

So, today, I am not isolated in some deep, dark hole of addictive behavior, but I stand in the bright sunshine among my peers whose love and compassion are felt every day. And, for that, I am truly grateful.

All the best, Roger W.